whoa! what's the hurry?
Okay…I know from personal experience that when you meet someone you find attractive, there’s an initial rush of “I want to talk to this person and see this person – now!” You know what I mean. It’s that feeling of “when will he call again?!” But I also know (as do the friends who've endured my frustrations) that letting that enthusiasm show in all its unfiltered energy can be bad…mainly because it has the potential to scare the other person off.
Additionally, as you’re moderating the enthusiasm, it’s probably a smart idea to moderate your conversation, too…to let talks about intensely personal topics unfold over time…to avoid baring your soul and unburdening your life experiences in the first couple of real conversations you have with the other person.
Unfortunately, I don’t think Mr. Small World is familiar with either of these concepts. How else to explain…
…the need to tell me intimate details of why his previous marriage ended; what led to him having a major medical procedure; and how he feels about pre-marital intimacy. During our first phone call.
…the overly enthusiastic, much too familiar mid-morning “hope your day is going well” text messages in the days after that first call.
…the multiple text messages in short periods of time (including one in which he asked, straight out, “are you there?” when I didn’t immediately respond to a previous text).
…the question being posed in our second phone call (to me, who has just met him) of whether he would be more appropriately labeled as a people-person or a people-pleaser.
Now I appreciate the fact that he might have been nervous during our phone calls. No, scratch that – I know he was, because he told me so. (He couldn’t help it, talking with a “pretty girl who also seemed cool.”) But nerves can only explain away so much. At some point, you have to wonder if he is simply so ready to find someone that anyone will do.
Sadly, that point has come. I have been here, done this…and am not interested in repeating the experience. Sigh.
Where I am: home
What I'm reading: I See You Everywhere by Julia Glass (yes, still)
Additionally, as you’re moderating the enthusiasm, it’s probably a smart idea to moderate your conversation, too…to let talks about intensely personal topics unfold over time…to avoid baring your soul and unburdening your life experiences in the first couple of real conversations you have with the other person.
Unfortunately, I don’t think Mr. Small World is familiar with either of these concepts. How else to explain…
…the need to tell me intimate details of why his previous marriage ended; what led to him having a major medical procedure; and how he feels about pre-marital intimacy. During our first phone call.
…the overly enthusiastic, much too familiar mid-morning “hope your day is going well” text messages in the days after that first call.
…the multiple text messages in short periods of time (including one in which he asked, straight out, “are you there?” when I didn’t immediately respond to a previous text).
…the question being posed in our second phone call (to me, who has just met him) of whether he would be more appropriately labeled as a people-person or a people-pleaser.
Now I appreciate the fact that he might have been nervous during our phone calls. No, scratch that – I know he was, because he told me so. (He couldn’t help it, talking with a “pretty girl who also seemed cool.”) But nerves can only explain away so much. At some point, you have to wonder if he is simply so ready to find someone that anyone will do.
Sadly, that point has come. I have been here, done this…and am not interested in repeating the experience. Sigh.
Where I am: home
What I'm reading: I See You Everywhere by Julia Glass (yes, still)
Comments
By the way - I have no idea how to say the word you used (yairs) - but it looks like a fun one. =)
Which is basically "Yes" in a slow, prolonged way. ;-)