"no, you're not annoyed, you're disappointed."


So Security Guy and I had plans to go to the movies tonight. And honestly? I was really looking forward to it. For the obvious reason of getting to spend more time with him...but today specifically, I was looking forward to the sense of comfort and happiness I feel when I'm with him. Because today was challenging. Thanks to a fire alarm at 3:30 this morning, I didn't get a lot of sleep; and then I had meetings and tasks throughout the day that required a fair amount of precision and attention to detail. Which meant that I came home from work worn out and ready for a nap.

Then, while I'm snoozing on the couch with my kitty, I get a text message from Security Guy asking if he can have a raincheck on our movie night. He'd had a long first day at his new job, and was feeling pretty wiped out.

Honestly, my first thought was, "Seriously? You're cancelling because you're tired? Dude, join the club." I was so annoyed. Because I was tired, too...I'd had a long day...but I still wanted to see him. Thankfully, I was able to recognize that fussing at him was probably not the best option; and I responded to let him know that was okay for us to postpone movie night. After which I tossed the phone on the table and resumed my nap, albeit with a little more frustration than I'd started out with.

Then, a little while later, one of my best friends texted to see if Security Guy and I were still going to the movies. "Ugh," I replied. "No. I'm so annoyed." So we talked...I explained my frustrations...and in her gracefully wise way, she observed, "no, you're not annoyed. You're disappointed."

(visualize lightbulb going off)

She was right. I was disappointed. Not by his behavior...but by the fact that I wasn't going to see him. And as soon as she helped me realize that, I began to understand how quickly I've come to appreciate Security Guy's presence in my life. And maybe it's too quickly...but I can't ignore the fact that he makes me smile. So when he called later tonight to chat for a few minutes before going to bed, I was able to share my disappointment with him in a positive way...and feel a sense of reassurance when he described wanting to talk with me to end his day on a happy note.

What a blessing to have friends who keep me focused on the truths and prevent me from overreacting!

Where I am: home
What I'm reading: a back issue of Smithsonian magazine

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